News in the absence of news

Pity the poor journalists at the Adver, desperate for something to fill their pages after a quiet bank holiday weekend. What to do? How about taking a step into the past, going back to the origins of the newspaper and its title, and presenting an advert for alternative therapies as news? Not satisfied with that? How about a story on how leaking rainwater set off a fire alarm? Life threatening stuff, no? And these are amongst the top stories, rationed to no more than fifteen per day, that the Adver posts to its website as a taster of the greater pearls to be found within its printed pages. ’Tis enough to make one want to go out and buy a copy, ’tis it not?