Green is the new black

Courtesy of whoever was ‘kind’ enough to buy a tube of green toilet rolls for me in the office Secret Santa, I have now discovered that green is the new black. Renova sell their ‘Black’ paper products (kitchen rolls, toilet rolls, napkins and handkerchieves) in a range of colours: black (naturally), red, orange and — the latest addition to their range — green. Can’t help feeling that the marketing people have got a little over-excited, though. For example, of their paper handkerchieves they say

Be invaded by these vibrant… pulpy and glossy green handkerchiefs….

A handkerchief invasion? Scary! They describe their toilet rolls as

Luxury tissue paper in emerald green to celebrate exotism [sic] in the bathroom. Enjoy!

They even suggest that using Black toilet paper will

Promote your business name and fame!

Really? Business success has never been so easy….

A warm mystery in every single olfactive [sic] moment.
Soft and glamorous… A paper of pleasure.

From now on, I will flush with pride!