Tag: silly

If Honda’s spokesman is to be believed, dumping the pound and adopting the euro would make areas of land expand. A couple of days’ ago, Honda’s president was quoted as saying they would only expand their plant in Swindon if Britain joined the euro.

Our intention is to bring operations to full capacity and have no plans to expand, though we may change our minds if Britain were to join the euro.

He even went as far as to describe the original investment in the Swindon factory as a ‘mistake’. Today this was translated into something rather different by Honda’s spokesman Paul Ormond

There is a limit to growth in Swindon, so we are growing into Eastern Europe. The total area is something like 67 acres. We couldn’t physically build any more on there. What Mr Fukui was saying is going forwards we couldn’t do a great deal more in Swindon because of the limitations on the site.

Clearly, joining the euro would make a few extra acres appear on Honda’s factory site.

If the politicians explained this magical land-expanding ability of the euro to the public, maybe people wouldn’t be so sceptical about it.

I’m not particularly interested in the arguments over weekly vs fortnightly non-recyclable rubbish collections, nor convinced either way on the arguments. However, I am worried about the sanity of one of our local councillors, if he actually said what he’s reported to have said.

Mr Wren said that new wheelie bins being rolled out across Swindon in September will be airtight so smells cannot escape and animals cannot get in.

Airtight? If no smells could escape, then as waste rots and decomposes, the gas that’s given off would have nowhere to go. The bins would build up a little bit of pressure. Leave them long enough and they might explode (and before anyone accuses me of being alarmist, we’re talking little ‘pop’ type explosions here, not big bangs). It would certainly make the dustmen’s job exciting.

Apparently I’m teal green. I was hoping to be a nice green shade of green.

What shade of green are you?

Swindon Borough Council has big plans for improved public transport in the town.

A series of ring roads, a giant car park north of the railway and a new bus exchange form part of Swindon Council’s battle plan to tackle gridlock.
As the town prepares to accommodate 35,000 more homes over the next 20 years, the authority is seeking support for its Vision for Transport plan….
Among the suggestions are proposals for extended pedestrian and cycling areas in the town centre.
There are also designs to provide a transport corridor for buses if the canal is given the go-ahead in Faringdon Road….
The [Council] spokesman said: “There is a perception that taking the bus is not a desirable way to get around, whereas trams are nicer.
“These buses ride like a tram, which fits in with our aim of making public transport more popular.”

The local bus company seems to be trying to add to that perception that ‘the bus is not a desirable way to get around’. One of their drivers refused to allow a pensioner onto one of their buses because he was carrying a pot of paint.

“I struggled on to the bus and the driver said you can’t come on with that, it’s highly explosive, you will have to get off”….
Grandfather Mr Stratford, of Wheedon Road, bought the 750ml tin of Buckingham green paint on Thursday morning to coat his garage doors.

Driver stupidity? In part… but also company policy.

Thamesdown’s managing director Paul Jenkins apologised for the inconvenience caused. He admitted the driver was wrong to say he couldn’t carry the paint for fear of an explosion but said it was “discouraged” from buses for fear of spillage….
“It is company policy not to carry tins of paint because of the risk of spillage but the driver was incorrect to suggest it was due to a potential explosion.

When has a pot of green paint ever harmed anyone? More seriously, how often does a brand new pot of paint readily part with its lid, even when dropped?

Thamesdown Transport’s majority shareholder is Swindon Borough Council.

Walking to work today, there were several boulders strewn around the local park which weren’t there yesterday. There was also the local BBC radio outside broadcast car there. Fortunately, the local newspaper has explained

Four giant sarcen stones – weighing a total of 21 tonnes – have been delivered to Faringdon Road Park in a bid to improve its appearance.

The huge rocks were unloaded yesterday as part of the New Mechanics’ Institute Preservation Trust’s plans to restore the park to its Victorian splendour.

Now, apart from the fact that there was nothing like that in the Park in Victorian times, so it bears no relation to Victorian splendour, it does seem to be quite a good idea — something for children to clamber over in a park which, except for the daffodils, is rather featureless. (Sadly, something for the graffiti taggers to deface too.) The source of the stones was revealing too.

The rocks were provided by Swindon Council which, it is understood, dug them up some years ago during a building project.

The giant stones were kept in storage and are now finally seeing the light of day.

Amazing the things that some people keep….

There’s a time and a place for anonymity, but one place that isn’t is in a shop. Now I am sure that the owner of a local off-licence from which £3000 was burgled in a distraction burglary is very embarrassed about what happened and how it happened (one of a group speaking in unrealistic foreign accents distracted the owner whilst another just walked through to the back of the shop and took the money, with it all captured on CCTV) but his wish, as reported in the local newspaper, to remain anonymous is not likely to last long. It’s a small off-licence, not part of a chain, and is both named and pictured in the newspaper article. Unless he emigrates now, most locals will know exactly who he is.

This is totally bizarre. ‘An Australian watermelon picker has set a new world record for headbutting and smashing the most melons in one minute.’ As part of a ‘watermelon festival’ he smashed 48 melons in 58 seconds. The BBC report (video) shows the whole event is, errm, wierd.